After a week off I've had to spend the morning catching up on my email, which means deleting 99% of my email. "Utilize AI to engage your website visitors!" Delete. "Which influencers made the most money in 2024?" Delete. "Holiday pics from Mom & Dad!" Delete. "Important information about your tenuous employment status at PC Gamer, please read!" Delete.
But here's one that caught my eye: "Limited-Edition 'Trigger Mug' Blends Gaming Technology with Culture of Tea Drinking."
And then I see it. The mug itself. The Trigger Mug. The mug… with a trigger on it.
"Rabea, a heritage Saudi Arabian tea brand unveils a groundbreaking limited-edition innovation that seamlessly blends gaming technology with the long-standing Saudi culture of tea drinking: the Rabea Trigger Mug."
My… God. They've done it. They've finally done it. They made a gun I can drink from. A mug I can shoot with. It's got the utilitarian black molded plastic look of a Helldivers 2 grenade, but I can put my wet mouth on it and slurp.
And it's so electronic. It keeps my tea warm, but also allows me to keep playing a mobile battle royale game by using the built-in trigger. Although… how the hell does that work, exactly?
"THE TRIGGER MUG FEATURES AN ACCELEROMETER, GYROSCOPE, AND A TRIGGER THAT KEEPS YOUR TEA HOT AND YOUR [[link]] GAMEPLAY EVEN HOTTER," the website loudly explains.
I'm still a bit lost. So if the mug has a gyroscope, I'm aiming with the mug? While I'm [[link]] sipping? Can you sip from something you're wiggling around to aim?
"RETRACTABLE ANTI-LEAK PHYSICAL SEAL," the website insists. "WIRELESS ANATOMICAL TRIGGER. ANTI-IMPACT POLYMER."
There's a video in the included presskit with blaring electronic music and slow-motion closeups of the mug rotating. The video makes me want to lick the mug, perhaps even caress it, but it doesn't show someone using it to play a mobile game while sipping from it. There is another picture of the mug next to a phone. Does that help?
That picture does help a little. I see phone. I see game. I see sexy gun mug.
"MOBILE BLUETOOTH OPERATED MACHINE MUG," the website screams.
OK, I'm sold. Sure, there's a small chance that sipping tea while gaming isn't an actual problem that needs to be solved because you could simply wait for the round to end to take a drink. Also, you still kinda have to look away from the game while pouring tea in your face. And, straws exist.
But who am I kidding? It's far more likely the only solution to this very real problem is an electronic mug with a goddamn gun stuck to it. You can find out more about the Trigger Mug at the official website.